Un-Rushing Relationships

Let’s face the facts: we’ve all met someone where things moved way too quickly, then before we knew what happened, we found ourselves in a relationship with problems. Think about it, we are essentially dating a complete stranger, what did we expect?

Meeting someone that you genuinely click with is rare in itself, so of course it’s natural to feel butterflies and want to be with that person all the time. I mean, we’ve all had our fair share of bad dates, times where we’ve been ghosted (or in my case the ghost-er usually lol), and enough of the dating apps. It’s not uncommon to want to connect, and to connect a lot with that rare person that you just met and actually like. However, taking it slow in a new relationship has so many great benefits. After reading this post, you may find that you actually want to revamp your dating strategy! Pandemic life starting to normalize, and most of the population isn’t in quarantine anymore, so it’s time to get active with your new partner or love interest, get outside, and take it slow. Here’s why!

When you rush you lose focus.
Rushing into love is very romanticized online. Think about all the couple-posts on Instagram. It’s like being completely obsessed with your partner quickly is normal. “Happy one month anniversary” posts are popping up everywhere, lol. Yet most people follow that bizarre lead of “normalcy” and when the heat dies down they are completely shook. Think about rushing in general. The same way when we rush work, or other things in life, we miss important details. Although the details may be small and cute in the beginning of a relationship, like how confident he is, or helpful, etc, they can become not so cute later because you’re losing focus. When you rush into love you let other areas of your life fade into the distance. Work always suffers, as well as productivity and often friendships, because all of the sudden you’re prioritizing your newfound love and snagging all those perfect Instagram post worthy photos together, lol.

When you don’t rush you choose to see someone for who they are, and not who you want them to be.
Taking things slower obviously lets you get to know the person’s character and their likes and dislikes. You might think that being with them all the time is the best way to get to know them, but it’s quite the opposite. People usually put their best foot forward in new relationships and cater to the needs of who they are with. Learning about what someone does in their free time is very telling, and if you don’t give them any free time you miss the opportunity to find out how they like to spend it. Try new things that your partner likes to do while taking it slow. You may find that your partner brings out things in you that you didn’t know you liked. You may also find out more similarities that you share, as well as better understanding your differences.

Not rushing shows you it’s not just about the sex.
I am not saying don’t have sex. That’s your choice, but having a healthy relationship versus a sexual one is very important. If you have sex right away and it’s mind blowing, it may make you not see the person as a whole person because you are too focused on buying lingerie, lol. Just let it happen naturally. The person is already into you or they wouldn’t be around you in the first place!

Not rushing allows you focus on the present and not the future.
Seeing each other 2-3 times a week versus everyday actually can help you stay in the present. The more days you spend together back-to-back, the more negative things you are going to notice. When you take things slowly, you get to decide whether you’re willing to accept those negative traits, while not being overwhelmed by them. If you aren’t, you can leave the relationship fairly unscathed. If the relationship is worth it, it gives you both an opportunity to work on yourselves before things get more serious, hence the word dating, lol.

Remember, different relationships have different timetables, and we have to pace ourselves. And dating, which is a whole other ball game, can be nerve-wracking. You never know what to expect because everyone you get involved with is different, so get outside and have some fun.

Here are five fun date ideas for you to use while you are UN-RUSHING:

Hiking
I love to hike in general, but it’s great on dates because it gets you outside and releases endorphins which make you happy, and who doesn’t want to be happy on a date?!

Cooking
I love conversations in the kitchen. Turn the tv off, throw on some music, and have some fun while preparing a meal together.

Volunteering
As everyone knows, I love volunteering. Making a date opportunity of going and helping others is a great way for you both to focus on what you have.

Weekend Getaways
Traveling with people tells you a lot about them. Pick somewhere close for a day trip or weekend excursion and hit the road!

Hit the Gym
Why not go break a sweat together? Again, more endorphins!

I hope this post has given you some perspective on the benefits of slowing things down, and that you and your new interest get some fun dates out of it. Cheers to no more situationships and more relationships! Preferably just one good one!!!!!