To Dig, or Not To Dig?

Dating in 2020 is certainly a lot different than it was when our parents or grandparents were finding their soulmates. Now there is an app for that, and it’s become our daily fix. We swipe images left and right, rejecting people with absolutely no knowledge of the person behind the photo. While online dating has become more and more sensationalized by social media, TV commercials, and influencer posts, it also comes at a cost. The constant need for attention and affection from these sites can lead us into to dangerous territory.

One day, while sitting at my office, I was led down a rabbit hole. For about a month I had been hearing about an employee’s friend who was recently dating a prince charming that she met on the popular dating app Bumble. His life was so exciting, filled with secret missions and private jets around the world. Every girl’s dream, right? My employee and his friends were worried that Charming’s stories didn’t add up, and were becoming more and more concerned with this new relationship and the safety of the friend. Me being a self-proclaimed FBI investigator, my curiosity piqued.

Although I won’t get into details, as the story is still unfolding before us, I will tell you that I dove in. I dug deep, and the stories that this Prince Charming from Bumble was telling were absolutely untrue. Very unfortunate for the woman he is dating, but live and learn. This led me to a very interesting question. When dating someone, do you dig or not?

There are so many popular websites online for people searches. A simple Google search and you’ll find truthfinder.com, beenverified.com, among many others.  However, that’s not always a good idea. First you must ask yourself if you WANT the truth. You have to be prepared for the repercussions of your digging actions, and you have to be absolutely okay with all possible scenarios or outcomes. Some people prefer to live in denial, and that’s okay for them, but if you really want to know who you’re dealing with, then there’s really only one way to do it. Call a private investigator – which is what I did. I called Robert, with Sin City Private Investigators, and we ran a complete check on Mr. Bumble’s license plates, which also lead me to possible relatives that I then searched on Facebook. Bam, there it was. He was married, this year actually, July 2020.

Robert the P.I. is a retired FBI agent, and he doesn’t mess around. Don’t waste $3.99 on 14 sites only to get false information. Call him. The reason I say cut to the chase and call a PI is that you absolutely don’t want to soil your mind with false information that many of these sites certainly provide. Remember, there are millions of people in cities all over the world, and certainly someone else will have the same name as your potential date. There’s no reason to ruin something before it starts for the low price of $3.99. Don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s just a date.

So, to dig or not to dig?

With information readily available at our fingertips these days, it’s easy to feel compelled to find out everything we can about our potential matches. Although maybe it seems normal and fine to “do a little research”, we also have to understand that things are not always black and white. The best advice I can give you is to communicate clearly with potential dates. Ask questions. Are they avoiding answers? Are they telling lavish stories that seem unbelievable? And if they are telling you things that seem “too good to be true”, and you are not asking questions, then the problem lies with you. It’s totally normal to get caught up in a new relationship, but that doesn’t make it ok to be flat-out dumb. Everyone deserves to tell their side of the story, just make sure they are not “selling you” on a side of the story. Big difference.

Dating is supposed to be exactly that, dating. A time to explore and have fun. Learn things naturally, live in the moment, and see what happens. But if you do decide to dig, that’s fine, just be prepared to possibly get hit by a shovel.